Thursday, 10 May 2012

back to love affairs...

After a while (a year probably) without proper writing, and now that I'm adapted to my life in London, just felt I was missing something. I soon realised I missed writing, sharing opinions, above all, building and expressing opinions. So I'm back. The worst  that can come from it is having bad comments to my texts, and we all know I can live with that.

As you already know, I got married not long ago, and although it may look like I have nothing to say now that I settled down, trust me, I still have so much to say! "Relationships" is the sort of topic that will never meet its own conclusion. Today I woke up thinking of "Ex's". Everybody has Ex's, right? But is it just me, or am I just the unluckiest person when it comes to this topic?! It has all calmed down for a while in my life, but I had quite a difficult past with Ex's.

My Ex's have always been perfect (more or less, actually, some kind of tried crossing the line the moment they found out I was about to start a new relationship) - okay, maybe not perfect, but they did okay, I guess. However when it comes to the person I'm with, he always has to have a crazy Ex - it's almost like a weird requirement for a guy to be with me: Hei, do you have any crazy Ex's? Oh, she just came out of jail for kidnapping you for half a year? Okay, that will do! I might be overreacting, but even so I can pretty much say I have quite a past with partners that made me live all sort of Mexican dramas - Lord, please give me the strenght!

I don't really get it. I understand it may be more difficult for some girls to overcome the end of a relationship. I really do understand that. My questions are: When is too much too  much? and How should the girlfriend cope with such thing?

I am patient towards some sorts of behaviour, and I don't just flip out with a text message, depending on its content (I'm Human, come on! - A "Me and my doggy really miss you, sweet honey bun, bla bla bla, a very special and sweet kiss from me and the dog, bla bla bla" is not acceptable, right???), but when they start   scheming that is the exact moment when I say "Enough is Enough". Why would a woman do that? The way I see things, when a relationship is over,  the woman has the right to try to get her boyfriend back through honest clear means and not by dirty humiliating resources. That's no good for her. She will have to live picturing herself as a self-deluded maniac and that's awful. Sometimes we do things we are not proud of, but the problem is how we are going to face ourselves in the future. What we do at the moment will reflect our future actions and decisions. We are what we do.

In the past, I lived quite a difficult relationship with one of my Ex's - one of those where you do everything for the loved person and believe "He is The One", even if it is obvious he wasn't. In the end, it took me a couple of months to forget him, but the most difficult thing for me was to meet me again, to accept who I had become and to find out who I was going to be after such an experience. It is never a matter of facing the others, but a matter of facing ourselves, and that's what's tough.

As the girlfriend, there is not much we can do, but be patient and respect our boyfriend/husband's Ex, unless she starts acting like crazy, of course. If she does, the only thing to do is for the man to cut all the strings with her for her own sake. Otherwise, she will never move forward and will never let you move forward.

And you know what? In the end of the day, I'm just a bubbly girl looking forward to happiness, mine, yours and theirs. So, being life so pink (I live in London, so make it a greyish pink for me, please) why insist on crying over the past, when such bright future may be waiting for you just around the corner?!

Enjoy your day. I will enjoy mine, because now I know I'm back!


The Bubbly Girl in Glasses
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1 comment:

  1. Yeyyyyy...:) A menina dos oculos esta de volta, que saudades:) sim, vou comentar em português, ja fiz o sacrificio de ler em inglês:) ih ih ih... Acho que um "mau termino" de relação torna aquele que "foi abandonado" um pouco "psycho", Há uma altura em que se a vida em geral não nos corre bem e aquele que julgamos ser a nossa "metade da laranja" nos da um real "chute no traseiro" na nossa muralha cai, os alicerces racionais são destruidos e ficamos com a versão doentia e como seres humanos que somos, cheios de falhas e imperfeições esperamos sempre encontrar uma vitima para descarregarmos essas frustações e nada melhor que a actual do nosso Ex:)

    bem é isto...

    Beijinhos menina dos oculos*


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