Monday, 21 May 2012

is monogamy monotonous?

In the past I have had some long relationships as well as short ones. I tried the whole "no strings" kind of thing too. In fact, I can fairly say I have experienced a lot in my past when it comes to my love life. As a friend of mine usually says, I am "the only person he knows that has lots of ex-boyfriends and an ex-fiancé" - he also loves teasing me by saying it won't last too long until I add an ex-husband to my EXs list (yup, he's a big time joker!!)

Anyway, from my vast experience (trust me, it is vast indeed) I gathered that relationships are only monotonous if couples allows them to be. It all depends on the way they handle things within their lives.

Naturally, as time goes by, couples are forced to create routines. Now, the question is: 'Must routines be boring?!?!' And the answer is only one: 'NOOOOOOO!' Next question: 'So how can we turn our routines into something non-monotonous?' Answer: 'Be creative. Have fun!' I can give you an example to prove my point. I don't particularly enjoy doing the laundry - and neither does Mr. Bubbly! But we turned it into a pleasant moment in our lives. How?! We turn the music on, we dance and do it together - it takes a lot longer to do it this way, but we enjoy it. Lesson number 1: Enjoy the time you spend together, so it becomes joyful and not monotonous.

We all have to follow strict schedules right? And that doesn't support my whole point of 'be creative and turn routines into pleasure', I guess. However, it is always a question of knowing how to manage time and be honest when it comes to setting your priorities. Since me and Mr. Bubbly started our relationship at the end of the school year, we were on holiday for our first months together and, therefore, travelled a lot together. After those initial couple of months, we always tried to overcome any routine issues by travelling, even if we only had the weekend to do that. That was never a problem: two-day getaways are as pleasant as a week holiday if you have the right person by your side. So, Lesson number 2: Learn how to manage time and find time for travelling if possible!

We don't have much free time now, since Mr. Bubbly is coaching at weekends. But I love doing small surprises at week days to help us ease up after a stressfull day of work. I try to recreate the whole hotel glamour of the beginning in our bedroom and prepare our favourite meals (some with memories attached) that we eat on our bed, just like we did in our first times together. It's cheaper, it's romantic and it's a routine-killer solution. Finally, Lesson number 3: Use your best memories together to organise small thoughtful surprises.

Well, these are my little tricks. They work for us. Mr. Bubbly has his own way of surprising me and the important thing is that both members of the couple are involved in turning routines into pleasant moments together. Once you learn how to do that, you will understand being monogamous is actually pretty exciting as well. And as for the ones who aren't monogamous, I'm pretty sure you're lives are not monotonous!:)

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